Beloved
May we learn to open in love
So all the doors and windows
Of our bodies swing wide
On their rusty hinges.
May we learn to give ourselves with both hands,
To lift each other on our shoulders, to carry one another along.
May holiness move in us
So we pay attention to its small voice
And honour its light in each other.
~Dawna Markova
A couple of weeks ago, on a Saturday morning, my daughter and I were driving on the freeway and noticed a sign that said “Drive-thru Prayer”. Just as we were saying, “Who would want to do that?”, we noticed that there was a line of cars snaking around the building!
I guess a lot of people would want to do that! I suppose that if that’s the only way or time that you can get a spiritual boost, it’s better than nothing. HEre is an article on it from the Houston Press:
Personally, I think it begs a bigger question: What kind of lifestyle are we living if we have to go through a drive-thru to get our spiritual support? Are we too lazy to get out of the car to pray or set aside some time each day? Are we reducing Spiritual support to a hamburger and fries?
Just a thought…I’d love to hear what you think… please post a comment!
Last night I attended the Interfaith Women’s Ramadan Iftar hosted by Brigid’s Place and Christ Church Cathedral. This was a wonderful dinner in which a variety of women came together to share a meal and discuss both commonalities and differences.
It began with a short program in the church. Opening remarks were made by Muffie Moroney, the representative from Christ Church Cathedral. This was followed by a short history of the iftar presented by Maida Asofsky. She shared how the tradition began as a Seder with Jewish women heading each table and in the past few years the iftar was added. Kafah Bachari Manna added her perspective with a beautiful speech regarding the misconceptions about the subservience (or not!) of Muslim women and a tribute to her mother, grandmothers and aunts who came before her. And finally Dr. Elora Shehabuddin of Rice University gave a talk on misconceptions about Islam and Muslim women in particular. This was followed by the sound of a cannon and the Adhan, the Muslim call to prayer.
We then went into the hall to break the fast with dates and chai, this was followed by the evening or Maghreb prayer. Then we went to assigned tables where there were at least two Muslim women. The idea was that these women would head the table and lead the table in discussions around their unique life experiences. Our table actually discussed everything from the weather, to the best places to live, to our individual careers and interests – just like any other group of women geting together for the first time! The favorite topic, however, was the incredible food. This was a feast full of food representing typical Ramadan foods from all over the world. Lentil soup, rose-infused juice/tea, nuts, rice, chicken, kebab, dolma, salad, eggplant, two types of bread, sweets, etc. We were ready to pop by the end of it!
At the end of it this was a beautiful evening that I would highly recommend in which “women of all faiths will unite to celebrate and honor Muslim women’s contributions to the arts, sciences, religious and academic scholarship, politics and everyday life.” Ramadan Mubarak!!
Last night I held my first Sacred Women’s Circle. An amazing group of women gathered in a cozy office away from the heat, humidity and traffic of the city. We gathered this month to talk about Creativity. We lit a candle, went over groundrules, played some appropriate music and got started!
We talked about creativity, our beliefs about it, and our own insecurities about our own creativity. I believe everyone is creative, but often we are taught in the standard education system not to be. I brought up some stories from a book I had been reading called: A Whack on the Side of the Head: How You Can Be More Creative. In this book, Roger Von Oech describe 10 “locks” that lock us out of our innate creativity. These locks range from the belief that there is only one right answer, the idea that we can’t break the rules to it’s not OK to be foolish or make mistakes. Do you relate to any of these? Probably most of us do!
I had set out an assortment unrelated items and everyone picked one. The assignment was to list what it could be used for other than its normal use or write a poem or story about it. Wow, once we got over the hump, the juices were flowing! We had a closing reading from Sarah Ban Breathnach’s Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. We then finished with tea, cookies and chit-chat!
I think it is so important for women to be able to gather together away from children, husbands, jobs, etc. and be with each other. We can let our defenses down, be ourselves and share joys and pain. If you don’t have a place to do this, I strongly suggest you find one or create your own. You won’t be disappointed!
Peace and Blessings,
Rev. Tricia
In any spiritual path one follows, inevitably, the idea of letting go rears its head. Why is it so important? Why is it so difficult? We can face this conundrum in a myriad of ways. Not only on our own path, but also when dealing with others – for example when we are dealing with other people, we must approach them free of expectations and requirements; in many forms of meditation, we are asked to let our thoughts go as they appear; in counseling sessions, we must let go of preconceived projections and outcomes.
What are some of the things we need to let go of? Well, the list is infinite, but here’s some food for thought: shame, guilt, fear, anger, bad relationships, expectations, grief, resistance, dependency…
And through all of this letting go, the mind is clinging with fierce determination to what it knows. “The devil you know is better (safer) than the devil you don’t!” we exclaim. The dangerous unknown lurks in front of us like an abysmal hole. The purpose of the mind or Ego is to keep us safe – that part of ourselves will do whatever it takes to accomplish its mission of keeping us safe from harm – and what could be more unsafe than the unknown or change? However, a full cup cannot be filled with something new – it must be emptied first. Let go!
If we can allow ourselves to open up with grace (or without, as the case may be) and trust to the unknown and something different, what we find is a whole new world of options and possibilities. The Divine has more in store for us than we can imagine for ourselves, but our job is to have faith and let go!
The question is how? How can we let go when our “monkey mind” is clinging tight to its vine? There are 5 simple steps to easing into faith and “letting go and letting God”:
1. Label that part of yourself that is afraid. Give it a name and make it as real in your mind as possible. This gives you something to focus on.
2. Let it express its fear through journaling or meditation.
3. Speak to it gently as you would a frightened child. Don’t dismiss it – it will only cry louder!
4. Get silent and still so that you can hear the still, small voice within – this is what will tell you your next step, if any.
5. Breathe! It is so important during these times of change to remember to breathe.
By giving voice to your fears, you allow that voice to know it’s being listened to. Only then can it begin to be comforted. Then the monkey can finally let go of that vine – that’s the only way you’ll be able to catch the next vine – much like a trapeze artist, in order to catch one trapeze the artist must let go of the one they are holding and trust that the one they need will be where it needs to be when they let go.
Remember that when a window is closed, a door is opened. Go ahead, close that window! Let go and live life!
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an ordained Interfaith Minister, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is owner of The Blissful Soul, an organization dedicated to healing and helping people live in peace and joy with themselves and others: www.TheBlissfulSoul.com.
Today I am working busily on the final touches for my workshop this weekend entitled: Ritual – Bringing the Sacred to Your 
Everyday Life. It is going to be full of information, exercises, creating your own rituals and lots of fun making new friends. I can hardly wait!
There are so many little things that have to get done before then: Type up the outline, pick out some supporting stories, poems, etc., create the handouts, create the parting gifts (oh, yes – fun stuff!), and purchase supplies…I’m sure there’s more, but no need to bore you with the details!
If you are in the Houston area on Saturday, I encourage you to join us. The cost is only $45 and it lasts from 1 PM until 5 PM – giving you plenty of time for morning errands and evening fun!
We will be going over:
If you feel like your days have become meaningless and unfocused, bringing the sacred into your everyday life will certainly bump things up a notch! Click here to register: http://theblissfulsoul.com/events/ritual-bringing-the-sacred-to-everyday-life/
See you there!
Rev. Trish
Conflict is a normal part of life, and while it is definitely uncomfortable, it doesn’t have to be a negative thing. It can be an opportunity for personal spiritual and emotional growth as well as for strengthening the relationship it is occurring within.
What exactly is conflict? Conflict appears when our needs, opinions or perceptions clash with someone else’s needs, opinions or perceptions. Our ego becomes threatened, and we try to protect what we believe to be right and wrong, our opinion about what should happen next or our sense of entitlement to get what we want.
Many times this feels to us like a personal attack. Many of us develop responses to these attacks as children – this is simply the ego attempting to keep us safe. So then even as adults, our natural instinct may be to attack, to run, or to stick our head in the sand and ignore it.
These responses feel comfortable to us because that is what we know; but, at the same time they are not a positive experience.
This really isn’t an unusual response to conflict – most people would rather not deal with it. However, the benefits can be dramatic. So what are some things we can do to at least handle conflict more skillfully, so that both partners consider it a “Win”; and even better, we experience a strengthening in our spiritual and emotional growth?
Practical tips for dealing with conflict with family members, friends and co-workers, including the following:
1. Focus on the positive.
There is usually a benefit that can be found in this conflict – the “silver lining” so to speak. It may clear the air of confusion or incorrect expectations; it can also help you determine clearly the next steps that need to occur.
2. Find something that you both agree on.
You might think there isn’t anything, but there is. It might be a small part of what’s going on, but it’s there. Make sure to find it.
3. Take ownership of your part in the conflict.
Most likely there is a part of the conflict that is yours; it’s highly unlikely that there is no part of this that you can be accountable for – own up to it.
4. Active Listening
This is probably the toughest step. Much has been written on how to do active listening. The bottom line is to truly listen to the other person while keeping you mind open and without judgment or thoughts of what you are going to say next.
5. Express Needs.
Conflict is usually occurring because perceived needs are not met. It is important that each party lay these needs out on the table so that there is transparency and understanding of what each person needs.
6. Reach Understanding.
Once the above steps have been done, it will be much clearer how to proceed. By this point, often a solution has already come to the surface or at least the next step can be agreed upon.
In a romantic relationship, conflict can lead to divorce. Between political factions, differences can lead to war. But when these conflicts are openly acknowledged and addressed, it can be a powerful catalyst for growth and healing and can lead to creative solutions that deepen intimacy and strengthen bonds between people.
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an ordained Interfaith Minister, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is owner of The Blissful Soul, an organization dedicated to healing and helping people live in peace and joy with themselves and others: www.TheBlissfulSoul.com.
This past weekend I had the good fortune to be able to spend some time with some very dear friends. We drove to New Braunfels, 
TX and rented inner tubes and followed in the age-old tradition of “tubing” down the river.
As we made our way down the river, I was reminded so many times of how the river mimics life. I’ve summarized some of my thoughts here:
1. Take the Plunge!
Obviously the first thing you need to do is to get in the water. How true this is in life. For anything to happen we need to take action. Some of us do it timidly and some of us just go for it. Many of us at the river chose to jump in and “Just DO it!” – the temperature differential between the scorching sun and the frigid waters is outright painful, but once we were in , it quickly felt cool and refreshing. Others chose to slowly wade in a step at a time – getting accustomed to the temperature with each step. Which one are you? Do you jump in a take risks? Or are you more careful? Perhaps a mix of both?
2. There WILL be white water.
Sometimes the way will get bumpy and rocky. This can be frightening, but it can also be exhilarating! If you hold on tight and are prepared (lift up your backside to avoid the rocks), you will fly through this time. In the words of Winston Churchill, “If you are going through hell, keep going.” If you aren’t paying attention, you could find yourself upside down in the water and your tube floating away!
3. Sometimes Action is Required.
There are times when you can lie back and drift and the river will carry you forward. However, there are other times when you need to paddle to get some forward motion or even get up out of the tube, sling it over your shoulder and walk over the shallow areas. In the ebb and flow of life, there are times to sow, take action; and there are times to wait patiently as the fruits of our labor our revealed. Be easy and “go with the flow”! When you wish you were in a different part of this cycle, just know that “This too shall pass!”
4. You will meet all kinds of people along the way.
There will be people that are friendly, people that don’t want you around, and people who get in your way. How you react to them shows how you handle life. Are you aggressive? Assertive? Easy-going? Complacent? Do you need to make changes in how you deal with others?
5. There is a predetermined flow, but you have free will to take another path.
While the river has a general flow to it, you still have the chose to go in a different direction. You could paddle upstream, head towards the right bank rather than the left, get out an rest for a while, or get out and start walking to your destination. Always remember that you have the choice to be the creator of your own life.
So, just remember as you go through your days that you are the creator of your destiny and you have the power to make things happen – and when things don’t go the way you had intended, this too shall pass!
Patricia Selmo is an ordained Interfaith Minister through One Spirit Interfaith Seminary. She is also a certified coach trained in Emotional Intelligence with an MA in Behavioral Science and a licensed True Purpose Coach. She has over 20 years of experience facilitating, coaching and managing professionals in the corporate environment. She now focuses on professionals who are feeling burned-out and are looking for more meaning and passion in their work and personal lives. She also loves to help you celebrate the milestones in your life through her ministerial services and can help you create beautiful memories in uniquely customized weddings, baby blessings, house blessings, memorial services, commitment ceremonies, etc. Visit her at: www.TheBlissfulSoul.com
August 25, 2010 7 PM Central
Location: Spectrum Center, Houston, TX
Cost: $20
This is a women’s circle that meets once a month. It is for women of all faiths and spiritual paths and we focus on a different theme each month.
Often we think of creativity as pertaining to the arts – painting, Music, sculpture and dance; and if we do not have active talent in one of these areas, we claim, “O am not creative!”
This month we will discuss what creativity really means to us and share our insights. We will discover our own special brand of Creativity and share it with this new sisterhood we are creating.
Come and join us for a fun evening with supportive women to honor each other and our feminine energy!
Please feel free to bring a friend and something to share afterward if you like. We will begin sharply at 7 PM and the circle will go for approximately an hour and a half. Afterward, we will drink tea and eat light snacks in community.
While you can show up that evening, it is preferable that you RSVP since it helps me to prepare. If you are planning on attending, please send me an email at: patricia@theblissfulsoul.com.
August 21, 2010 1 – 5 PM Central
Location: Spectrum Center, Houston, TX
Cost: $45
Ritual is a universal language that brings substance, meaning and peace to our lives. It is important to honor the significant moments in our lives: both happy and challenging. Whether you’re releasing fear, bringing deeper meaning to a family or community gathering or celebrating an important event, rituals can enhance daily routines, enrich milestones, and guide us through difficult transitions.
Do you want more peace in your life?
Are you going through a transition period?
Are you facing a challenge?
Do you feel stuck in your business or personal life?
Ritual is the cornerstone of not only religious traditions, but also of our daily lives. It brings us back to ourselves, to our center and to the Divine. This in turn helps us create lives of peace, nurturing, honor, joy and abundance.
Learn:
• How to incorporate Ritual into your everyday life without effort
• How to create your own ritual
• About the elements of ritual
• When you should use ritual
